Grad School

I haven't blogged in almost a year, and during that time, I've been neck-deep in grad school.  What an intense experience this has been!  It seems that so much happens in a week. And because I'm learning so much in such a short amount of time, I feel like I'm changing constantly.  Some things become more clear and some become clouded with more questions. 

Most of this year has been spent trying to figure out what I want to focus on.  That has finally been settled.  I am earning an MS in Human Development and Social Policy with a Disability Certificate.  What does that mean, do you ask?  It means that when I graduate, I will be qualified to work for government or non-profit organizations, especially those that focus on services for people with disabilities.  My graduate project is unique and intensely exciting for me.  I'll be the assistant editor on a book about aging and autism (Published by JKP in London), and I'll also be the co-author of the introductory chapter.   In preparation for this chapter, I am currently researching the history of autism definitions and diagnostics, and putting these paradigm shifts in a historical context to explore the implications for society and the future of individuals and families touched by the disorder.  It has been 70 years since the first diagnosis given by Dr. Leo Kanner in 1943.  Autism was considered a psychosis back then, and was often blamed on emotionally distant parenting.  It's interesting to think of how much things have changed.

Researching autism has been interesting for me on a personal level.  It seems only natural for me to question the elements that came together to bring autism into my family, and to consider the community around us and how it has influenced our situation.  I am so grateful for all of the people who have supported us and loved us.  I'm grateful for the people who have embraced Jessica without fear and without hesitation.  Everyone with autism in their family should be so blessed.

I'm pensive to the point of rambling, and blogging in an attempt to make sense of even a portion of what is in my mind. I feel like a pixel--a small part of a huge picture in history.  It's so interesting to me that we can feel things so intensely and be so aware of the immediacy of our situations and simultaneously see how little we are.  But, the little changes we make in our own lives and in the lives of those around us add up.  My little changes are part of the big changes that are happening.  My understanding will add a tiny drop to this book that will be the first of its kind, and may influence thoughts on autism for the next few years as Jessica's cohort ages out of school and transitions into adulthood.  This book may have some influence on social policy and community inclusion as she outlives me and relies on others to support and keep her healthy and engaged.  At least, that is what I hope for.  I want to make a difference.  I want to make life better for Jessica and everyone like her.